An email worth sharing.

I have always been sensitive when it comes to issues of parents. I know I am no perfect daughter, but I do appreciate and cherish my parents because they have sacrifice all they have to make me who I am today. So when I received this email from a colleague of mine, I wanted to share it with all my friends. The email was titled, “from Nazariah Sulaiman”, it might be written by her, I am not sure but the content just touched my heart. So, here it goes;

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Subhanallah! senangnya nak dapat pahala dengan hanya memandang wajah mak bapak kita. Selagi ada kesempatan, selagi ada hayat ibu bapa kita dan selagi kita masih bernafas lagi, pandanglah wajah mak ayah kita. Itulah wajah2 yang mengasihi kita seikhlas, sepenuh hati dan dengan penuh kasih sayang tanpa mengharap apa-apa balasan.

Aku dengan Mak tidak rapat. Mungkin sebab semasa aku kecil aku ni tomboy, tak reti meleseh dan aku suka membawa diri. I was a middle child and often found refuge in books ? if I wasn't up the tree or down in the drain. Aku tidak pernah ingat if aku pernah merajuk atau kecil hati semasa kecil. Mak, was from the old school, kalau aku nakal atau menggelenyor( satu lagi perkataan Johor tak reti duduk diam / hyperactive ), zass akan dicubitnya peha aku.

To show you just how hyperactive I was as a child :-aku pernah patah kedua-dua tangan aku before the age of six (different arms,different times) sebab jatuh kerusi dan basikal. Nak jadi orang circus, agaknya.Jari aku pun pernah tersepit kat pintu kereta, aku pernah pengsan sebab jatuh basikal semasa konvoi dengan kawan-kawan hingga dihantar pulang oleh a good Samaritan.

But, bila AKU marah ? aku pancit kereta bapa aku ! THAT I remember, and I was only five ! Kelam kabut orang tua tu lari ke luar rumah bila dia dengar bunyi tayar kereta go ssssssss?..but, dia tak marah kat aku. Apa lagi pukul aku. I was 5, remember? bukannya tahu apa lagi? (hhmmm.. sounds familiar? Macam what my Brood is doing to me. What goes around COMES around!)

Walaupun Mak was not demonstrative of her affections, aku tahu dia amat menyayangi anak-anaknya. Mungkin sebab dia sudah masak dengan perangai anak-anak dia yang dare devil, dia tidak mudah melatah dan sentiasa cool.

Mungkin aku mewarisi sikap ini dari dia di dalam menghadapi kerenah anak-anak. Disebabkan aku tomboy, maka seharusnya lah aku tidak suka perkara-perkara yang berkaitan dengan kewanitaan seperti memasak, menjahit,mekap, fesyen dan sewaktu dengannya. Mak relax jer. Tak de nak berleter kat aku suruh masuk dapur or pakai pakaian yang feminine.

Namun aku mula belajar memasak bila aku di Form One .itu pun masak jemput-jemput (cekodok to some of you). Aku bukan belajar dengan Mak tetapi dari rakan Girl Guides aku. Semasa camping, aku "heran" kawan-kawan sebaya aku terrer memasak . hatta hanya memasak sardin, lempeng dan jemput-jemput. Bila aku perhatikan mereka dan di rumah, aku cubabuat sendiri. Mak hanya bertanya : Ko belajar masak ni kat mana? Aku dengan bangganya menjawap " kat camping laa.

Tulah Mak tak bagi kita pergi camping, kita belajar macam-macam kat situ " Mak was a housewife. Dia pandai memasak dan menjahit traits di mana,alas, tidak dapat diwarisi oleh anak perempuannya. Menjahit, I mean.Memasak tu, boleh lah setakat nak bagi orang makan.Mak tidak pernah menyuruh aku masuk dapur. if she needs help, dia akan tanya aku dulu, "kau tengah buat apa tu?" which, all of the time I was reading. "Membaca" I would reply, and that was the end of it.

Mak tidak akan menganggu aku bila aku membaca. Di waktu aku kecil, there were no washing machine , but we had a washerwoman yang datang tiap-tiap pagi untuk membasuh baju di rumah kami.When Mak had a baby, my Dad would arrange for a relative to stay with us to help with housework and cooking. I was too young (in their eyes) to be burdened with the housework.

Aku cuma main dan belajar aje. I stayed home until Form Five before I left for KL to continue my studies and subsequently working. Bila my Dad hantar aku ke bas stand untuk ke KL to start my job, he said, " Bila kau ada masa cuti, balik jengok Mak.

Kalau ada duit lebih, bagi kat Mak sikit. Aku ni tak apa, tapi Mak tu, kau telefon-telefon lah dia " When I had my first gaji ,aku bawak Mak shopping. Serupalah macam iklan BCB tu. " Ambik, ambik SEMUA".Mak tersenyum aje. In subsequent years, aku akan membelikan Mak handbag, tudung, kain dan barang-barang yang dia suka. Since I was travelling in my job that time,aku sentiasa akan belikan souvenirs for her from wherever I went.

Aku tahu Mak bangga dengan pemberian aku sebab aku pernah dengar Makcik-Makcik kat kampung during kenduri admiring her bag, her tudung and she proudly announced, " ni anak aku bagi ni ".

Semasa aku bersalinkan Abang , Mak helped care for me and the baby sampai habis pantang. Aku , habuk pun tak reti jaga budak. But, umur Mak tak lama. A few month selepas Abang dilahirkan, Mak was diagnosed with cancer.Malignant melanoma. Mak was brought to KL for treatment because the type cancer was rare in Malaysia.

Four months after Mak was first diagnosed, we were summoned by the doctor. The prognosis was not good. The cancer has spread to the lungs. "How long does she has, doctor ? " "Four months." the good doctor said quietly. My sister and me were stumped. Both my parents were out in the ward, we were in one of the rooms. "Maybe you would like to take her home, because old people would prefer to die at home. " DIE ?????

Bila kami keluar dari bilik doctor, my sister went to talk with my Dad,while I went to see Mak. "Apa doctor cakap?" Mak tanya. How, just HOW do you tell your mother that her days are numbered? I was not the touchy, feely type. I never hugged my mother. Salam and kiss her hands yes, but never hugged.

But, at that moment ? I really, really wanted to hug her tight and tell her how much I loved her. But, I didn't. Mak would suspect something amiss if I do that. "Er, doctor cakap kalau Mak nak balik rumah, boleh." She was happy. She missed home and all the cucu. Kids were not allowed in the ward, and all her cucu were under 12 (at that time). "Bila kena datang sini lagi?" Mak tanya lagi. "Nanti doctor bagitahu"

We never told her of what the doctor said. We never knew if our Dad ever did, because we never talked about death. Neither did she. Four months. How can you tell your mother how much you love her. How can you SHOW her what she meant to you in FOUR months.How can you make her happy in the last four months of her life?The dreaded months passed quickly. Four months came and she is still alive, albeit weaker and by then, bed ridden. All my siblings take turns to come and care for her.

Di sinilah aku nampak betapa mulianya seorang ibu yang disayangi dan disanjung oleh anak-anak. Pepatah mengatakan seorang ibu boleh menjaga sepuluh anak, but sepuluh anak belum tentu boleh jaga seorang ibu. My Dad sering mengingatkan, "setitis air mata ibu jatuh kerana hatinya terguris, boleh mengoncang tiang Arasy " I felt very blessed that Mak dapat merasai kasih sayang dari kami semua especially di akhir hayatnya.. The day came two months later. Mak was having trouble breathing my my Dad call us the children at 5 am.

Bapak aku kata Mak nazak.Aku tengok nafas Mak shallow but she was still conscious. Mak kata, kaki dia sejuk. Aku picit dan gosok kaki Mak. My sisters duduk di kiri kanan Mak. Everybody is doing something for Mak. Bahagianya Mak aku tengok, di saat-saat akhirnya dikelilingi oleh anak-anak. Then azan subuh berkumandang.

My Dad ajak Mak bersolat subuh. Kami pakaikan Mak wuduk dan telekung. We watched our parents menunaikan solat jemaah untuk kali yang terakhir dengan linangan air mata. Selepas subuh, kami membaca Yaasiin. My Dad suruh Mak ikut dia mengucap syahadah.

As I was seating di tepi kepala Mak, aku pangku Mak dan bisikkan di telinga Mak, "Mak, ikut saya ye. Ucap syahadah" Mak ikut. Aku peluk Mak dan bisikkan " Mak, ampunkan dosa saya dan halalkan air susu Mak" Mak menghembuskan nafasnya yang terakhir pada usia 59 tahun dan dikelilingi suami, sebahagian anak-anak dan cucu-cucu.

I was a young mother when Mak passed away. Abang only a year old.Walaupun zaman aku berbeza dengan zaman Mak tetapi foundationnya tetap sama. Kasih sayang. Keikhlasan. Tanggungjawap. Tiga factor yang pada aku amat penting di dalam peranan seorang ibu.Kasih sayang yang tidak berbelah bagi (unconditional love), keikhlasan hati sebagai ibu terhadap anak-anak dan tanggungjawap yang diberikan Tuhan kepada amanahnya.

To me these three basic foundation aku cubaterapkan sebaik mungkin sambil gunakan ilmu keibubapaan yang aku pelajari dan perhatikan bersesuaian dengan zaman dan keadaan. Pengalaman aku sebagai anak juga banyak membantu di dalam peranan aku sebagai ibu.

I am not a perfect person, what more a perfect parent. I have always enjoyed my childhood and would love my children to have the same happiness as I did. But, God has His plans for me and my Brood. All the dugaan that He gave has made us stronger and more appreciative of what we STILL have. EACH OTHER.

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold yours.

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#taken from an email entitled.."from Nazariah Sulaiman".