I reached the office early today, thanks to the LRT. As I was heading towards my cubicle, I heard my colleagues discussing about their Aidilfitri plans. Normally, I will try to avoid having small talks in the office especially early in the mornings, as I prefer to have the total silence while I sink myself into the morning newspapers. However, today, I could not help but listen (trying not to be too kepo…heheh) and try to grasp what the two ladies were talking about. I heard bits and pieces of the story, something like this:-
Friend 1 : So where are you celebrating Raya this year? Is it gonna be your hubby’s hometown or your parents’ place??
Friend 2 : Hubby’s ( Making sad faces..)
Friend 1 : That is nice, but what’s with that face of yours? Not happy eh?
Friend 2 : Of course I am not happy, I can’t celebrate Raya at my parents’ place..
Friend 1 : Tak pelah, you rotate, last year was yours, this year his choicela.
Friend 2 : Well the problem is, we have been going to his hometown for the past three years I am so pissed but I don’t wanna bring it up as it is definitely gonna spoil the Raya mood..
Friend 1 : Oh ok.
At that particular moment in time, I told myself, Gosh, lucky me I am still single, I don’t need to be confronted with all these unnecessary Raya issues. But as an independent person, who dearly values my own opinion, views and stands, being married or not, I have always believe in the act of compromising. When one appreciates to be around his or her family for a special occasion surely one knows how it feels like for the other half to enjoy the same excitement and contentment.
Be it the hubby or wife, one should respect the obligation their other half has towards their parents and so forth. Learn to compromise and accept the fact that each and every one of us should be given the space. As for the person who always gives in to the other, you should also learn to value your own wants and needs. I thought marriage is about compromising and not about giving in all the time, right!?
Friend 1 : So where are you celebrating Raya this year? Is it gonna be your hubby’s hometown or your parents’ place??
Friend 2 : Hubby’s ( Making sad faces..)
Friend 1 : That is nice, but what’s with that face of yours? Not happy eh?
Friend 2 : Of course I am not happy, I can’t celebrate Raya at my parents’ place..
Friend 1 : Tak pelah, you rotate, last year was yours, this year his choicela.
Friend 2 : Well the problem is, we have been going to his hometown for the past three years I am so pissed but I don’t wanna bring it up as it is definitely gonna spoil the Raya mood..
Friend 1 : Oh ok.
At that particular moment in time, I told myself, Gosh, lucky me I am still single, I don’t need to be confronted with all these unnecessary Raya issues. But as an independent person, who dearly values my own opinion, views and stands, being married or not, I have always believe in the act of compromising. When one appreciates to be around his or her family for a special occasion surely one knows how it feels like for the other half to enjoy the same excitement and contentment.
Be it the hubby or wife, one should respect the obligation their other half has towards their parents and so forth. Learn to compromise and accept the fact that each and every one of us should be given the space. As for the person who always gives in to the other, you should also learn to value your own wants and needs. I thought marriage is about compromising and not about giving in all the time, right!?
17 comments:
"Learn to compromise " - some may not have that ability to do so.. fuhh.. lega I am single, and every year will be my hometown.. and for the many years coming ahead.. will be my hometown!!!
We rotate. This year my parents house, next year her inlaws house, then next year my parents house....
my arrangement is simple, i go back to hubby's kampung every year but 2nd day to mine which we will stay longer, and this has been going on for the last 17 years! nasib baik one way street je, from kl to seremban to jb :)
ermm... easier said than done. more often than not, isteri kena pendam perasaan cos some men uses the line that isteri hak suami after kawin. whatever.
semalam i tak keje. public holiday hoooray... so today is my monday ;P
yah.. raya can be a big issue for some couples.
As for me, we rotate every year. My hubby has never gunakan any kuasa veto. So, i'm quite lucky.
Once, my mom-in-law tried to persuade my hubby to go back to their place for raya every year, since we go back to my mom's house practically every week. I looked her straight in the eye and said 'as long as my mom is still alive and i have my bros and sis, we'll rotate.' She never brought up the subject again.
nour, that lady should confront the husband in the most sensisitive manner as so not to spoil the mood..better spoil the mood of one raya than living a life time hating the fact that she did it because she had to...
life is all about compromising and sacrifices kan..
nour, that lady should confront the husband in the most sensisitive manner as so not to spoil the mood..better spoil the mood of one raya than living a life time hating the fact that she did it because she had to...
life is all about compromising and sacrifices kan..
susahnya kalau dah kawin..
We rotate, 1st year was my in-laws, 2nd year celebrated in Japan (so tak payah nak rotate rotate), this year will be in PJ....Without a doubt, couples should rotate (fair n square) unless the other party doesn't really mind...
hehe...yup, me too!! so far so good..we singles don't have to worry abt spending our raya somewhere other than our parents..yeay!! :)
Merapuman,
you got me confused there :D
mama rock,
so you are lucky and you and hubbt do compromise..that is so lovely. Must meet half wayla kan mama. Kalau asyik one side je...mana aci!
Cookie..
You are so lucky...to have that cuti. We KL-ians have to work our ass off as well as get vcaught in the massive jam due to the cuti, sogo area and jln TAR jam like hell I heard..(Psst, Raz mesti tak dapat visit Sogo :p)
Raz,
Yeay...this IS what I call compromising. It is only natural to rotate..coz everyone loves their parents/family, everyone deserves the opportunity to spend that special occassion with his/her mom/dad.
You MIL is so brutal..well serve her right for interfering :P
Adorable,
I blame Friend 2 for being too baik. She should have fought for her rights. Becoz all this while she hasnt brought up the issue, hubby might think she IS ok with it. It is either she loves her husband too much or she doesnt cherish her parents to fight for them. I believe she has a choice, she shld stand up and make a good decision!
Angel,
susahkan...but it helps if both husband and wife are understanding and all.
lil sis,
I have always believe in rotating, chewah..me and my opinions..True what? Semua org nak raya dgn family so it is only right to rotatela kan.
Married or not, have their pros and cons. Everything does....
Compromise? Yeah that would be great! Then thousands of children in Iraq, or Lebanon ... would still be alive...
Too bad we live in a not so perfect world..... but then again, you can make the difference... even one of you can learn to compromise, it is a great NEW beginning..... for all.
nour and raz,
scary kan to think of MILs hehe... tapi i respect you la raz. external look so lembut tapi you are firm. hmmm... must learn from now. firm juan. firm ;P ni for future use la... hehe.
hi dade ghost,
nice to see you here. Well, I guess it is never too late to make a difference, so people lets compromise and make the world a better place to live in.
cookie/raz,
been hearing too much stories about MILs, pretty scaryla. Just gives me the creeps..but I guess it takes many years of getting used to.
Well I guess dlm setiap kelembutan ada kekuatan..hehe :P
This statement just jives with Raz la.
saper kater susah biler dah kahwin. i pernah bujang and sekarang dah kahwin. if given a choice, i wud rather stay married dari kembali bujang. somehow it makes u feel complete.
warning ... this advice is from a guy who likes to 'merapu'. use at your own risk ... wakakaakaka...
merapuman,
well being single pun susah, as what dade ghost said, it has its pros and cons. Well whatever it is, I believe we shld live our lives the best we can.
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