What happens when you really like someone, you sense there is "sparks" or what we call chemistry between the two of you, you just love to hang out together most of the time, you can confide in each other easily, BUT unfortunately this thing you have with him just does not seem to move beyond the “friends-zone”. Nothing seems to be developing as much as you want it to?? What would you DO??
1. Do you tell him how you feel? It could be one-sided? Face the embarrassment?
2. Do you wait until he says something, or ask a third party for assistance?
3. Do you give yourself a time frame, if nothing happens, just move on and forget about everything?
4. Do you continue to be friends? Hoping that ONE day, he will change his mind and realise how much he likes/loves you?
Well, ever since I had that chat with a close friend of mine yesterday via YM, I can’t seem to get the above issue out of my head. I worry for her as I don't want her to hang on to this issue far too long. She practically shoved me with the questions above as she could not take it anymore. May be, she is at the verge of giving up. I would feel the same way if I was her. I can imagine how she feels, it is something she has been holding on to for the past two years, hoping that things would be better. Wow, to think of it, that is darn long eh, love can be powerful! Gosh, time really flies. I guess she wants to move on BUT at the same time she can’t stand the thought of loosing him as a friend. Well, it is never easy when it involves matters of the heart. The heart will tend to override the brains.
She met the guy when both of them were recruited in the same media company. They clicked pretty well and became close friends, it did not take her long to develop feelings for him. Obviously, since he is a nice guy! I remember bumping into them in IKEA, a couple of occasions. I really thought they were dating. How can he not know, she likes him?? She told me, she tried hinting to him many times, it was never fruitful.
I don’t know, I have always believe that if he really likes her, he would not be wasting time and be honest with her. In my opinion, she should tell him how she really feels, if he doesn’t feel the same way, then move on. Life is too short and precious to be wasting on uncertainties. I might be wrong, I don’t know, well that is how I see it……hopefully, she will make the right decision.
Saturday, May 13
Going beyond the "Friends-Zone"??
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10 comments:
Well...being a women, we are always shy to approach the men first. Tapi to me, kalau dah hint2 and mereka tak faham2 just walk away and move on....buat habih bogheh yo....
two years and he still didn't tell her how he feels??
two years going for free rides and she still can't tell?
he definitely does not want anything more then just her company...
why dun she just go silent on him and see if he looks for her?
You guys are so true, she should just leave him and not let him string her along. He is just not being a true gentleman.
yup they're right..2 years mate!! well maybe the idea of being silent from blackfeline is good..maner la tau. it's easier said than done..dr segi logic memang la just spit it out..but i wud freak out ..biarlah remain friends.
Direct confrontation is the only solution to this problem ...'silent treatment' is just stupid & may end up souring the relationship ...nothing was mentioned about the guy except that he is nice...& if he is nice ...go confront him ...tell your friend not to be waste more time & know the truth staraightaway...gud luck from my side !
Hey Nour,
I've always believed that , at a certain point, we should just let them know how we feel, if we are that close already. The friendship should survive regardless of the outcome if the foundation is strong enough. After that, the ball is in their court and believe me, your friend would feel a sense of liberation. It is keeping the feelings inside which makes her miserable.
Hmm.. yup, 2 years is a long time. Apa kata, u ask ur friend to go out with a couple of other guys and make sure that 'the guy' knows about it. If 'the guy' seems to have no reaction to it, well, u can conclude that 'the guy' is just not interested.
Maklang,
Yeah can agree with you on the part of being shy, but sometimes tu ada limit jugak la kan..2 years lama tu ? isssh memang menghabiskan bogheh aje!
blackfeline,
Knowing her, if she goes into the silent treatment thingy, mesti backfire. She will end up calling him instead..How la?
lil sis,
If it was me, I wldn't want to be left dangling for far too long. Like i told her, it shld be her calling the shots not him.
Ms Adorable,
Hi! Yup, 2 years!! Can u imagine that?? Love can be sooo blind at times...Hopefully, she can think straight now.
Hey Anshu,
Honesty is the best policy. I guess it is best to tell him how she feels. If he doesn't feel the same way, it's okay! It might be painful but better to know now rather than later when he is in love with someone else right. If he is a true friend, even if hedoesn't feel the same way,their friendship will be stronger. But then again, it is always easy said then done :)
Trippin,
You are so right, by talking or seeing her, I can see that it is eating her up inside for keeping it quiet for 2 years. Time to spill the beans and take charge.
Hi Razzle Dazzle,
Hmm, good suggestion tapi then again may take more of the already wasted time. Takut the guy is blur as ever :)
adess nour...memang that guy tu blur type ka atau buat2 blur...
ramai jugak yg buat2 blur...kebetulan pulak kalau ur fren tu jenis kurang perceptive, adess parah...sorang buat2 blur..sorang dok mengharap.....
kalau si guy tu mmg jenis blur...masih ada harapan...but ur fren tu kena ambek more direct approach la...bawak je dia ke kedai emas...pilih satu cincin dan tye je kat si guy tu : "darling, this one ok or not for our engagement?"
idham<---suka happy ending :)
Hey Id,
Always nice to see you here..
Yeahlah yangg blur tu okay lagi..yang mengharap tu yang parah...:P
HAahahha..nanti beli cincin, the guy ends up saying "whatever for", parah pulak the gal kena bayar..:)
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